Bakura's Bullshit Day
by OFFICIAL CHOPS WRITING
Summary: A day of beach fun on Kiba's land turns out to be all out chaos when Bakura and Marik are caught breaking the rules of the property. Ryou, Yugi, Yami and the rest of the gang all end up prisoners at Kiba's place.


_HIJINX AT THE KIBA RESIDENCE_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the characters! The story that the characters star in, however is of my own creation_

_It was a beautiful day in Domino Japan and a group of teenagers were headed down to the beach to enjoy the day. Two of the boys looked out of place going to the beach as they were extremely pale. The sunlight did not seem to bother them though; they both had sun block and sunglasses on. The other teens in the group carried beach towels, blankets, an umbrella and a cooler._

_Yugi: This is going to be the best day ever!_

_Marik: I prefer the beaches in Egypt. They are what real beaches are! This Japanese shit is making me sick._

_Malik elbowed Marik. Marik fell silent and continued on with the group._

_Ryou: What are the beaches like in Egypt Bakura?_

_Bakura: Well the last time that I went to the beach we all swam naked and there were lots of animals in the river with us. There were times when you would not want to swim in the Nile. Isn't that right Pharaoh?_

_Yami turned around to face Bakura and he rolled his eyes._

_Yami: Of course you would remember that! Well, yes, I did learn that the hard way. You see it can get rather hot in Egypt and back in my day we did not have the convince of air conditioning, so we had to swim to cool off. It was a hot evening and I decided to go for a dip in the Nile. Usually it would have been fine, but it was right after the floods and the current of the river was rather strong. Well I did a cannon ball into the river and nearly got swept away. _

_Bakura: Aren't you forgetting something, Pharaoh? He is leaving out the part where he floated down the river and landed into a fisherman's net and they pulled him up. He smelled like fish for like a whole week. That was the best week of my life!_

_Everyone in the group laughed, Bakura and Marik leading the pack in laughter. Yami blushed and muttered something in Egyptian. He was thankful when they reached the beach a few minutes later. Bakura still laughing at Yami walked right into a sign. He fell backwards into Ryou and they both landed on the ground. _

_Bakura: What the fuck?_

_He pushed himself off of Ryou and stood up to read the sign. The sign read, "This land is property of Seto Kiba" Then following that, there was a list of things that Kiba forbid on the land. _

_Tea: At least we can still swim here. He hasn't written anything about no swimming._

_Joey: Of course, even when Kiba is not here with us he finds a way to ruin all of the fun. He has all that time to ruin my life and be a top duelist. That is not fair! Fuckin' Kiba…_

_Yugi: It's okay Joey. Just forget about Kiba and let's have some fun!_

_The group raced down to the beach. While the rest of the gang was in the water, Ryou and Yami set up all of the beach items. _

_Yami: Where is Marik and Bakura? I don't see them in the water._

_Ryou turned and scanned the water for Bakura and Marik. He saw Yugi and Joey playing chicken with Malik and Tea, but Bakura and Marik were nowhere to be seen._

_Ryou: I don't see them either. I wonder where they have gotten to. It's a beach and there is no one else here yet, so how much trouble could they get into?_

_Yami: I guess you have a point. We'll just relax. They'll be back as soon as they get hungry. Did you pack sandwiches?_

_Ryou pointed to the cooler and grinned._

_Ryou: Yep! I made a whole bunch and I even brought sushi, cause I know that is your favorite._

_Yami ruffled Ryou's hair and grinned._

_Yami: Bakura is sure lucky to have you around. You take good care of him._

_Ryou blushed._

_Ryou: I try to. Most of the time he wants to take care of himself. You know that old chestnut. Where is that smoke coming from?_

_Ryou stood up in a panic. He knew that Bakura and Marik would have something to do with the smoke that was floating by. _

_Yami: I will stay here and keep an eye on everyone else. You go and see what those two dunces are up to._

_Ryou nodded and ran off in the direction that the smoke was coming from. After running for a few feet the two troublemakers came into view. They were perched near the edge of the water smoking. What they were smoking , Ryou had no idea, but he knew that they were in violation of Kiba's rules that were clearly posted. _

_Marik: Oh shit! Here comes Ryou!_

_Bakura: What is he going to do about it? He is too afraid of Kiba to tell on us._

_Marik: Yeah, but he is not afraid of the Pharaoh. He'll tell Yami and then he will go and tell Kiba._

_The two laughed at the idea of that happening and continued on smoking. By the time that Ryou had reached them they were finishing up their cigarettes. _

_Ryou: What are you doing? You know that Kiba forbid this on his property! We will all get thrown off of it because you two have to constantly not follow the rules! You can't smoke on the land._

_Bakura turned to Marik. Bakura: I'll be right back. I have to go and get something._

_He left Ryou standing next to Marik, both looking confused. Bakura went to Marik's car and pulled out an inflatable raft. He snickered. He had found a loophole in the rules and of course, he had to show it off. Bakura returned to Ryou and Marik._

_Marik: What the fuck is that for?_

_Bakura: Kiba said that there was no smoking on the land. He said nothing about the water._

_Marik and Bakura slapped high fives in celebration of out smarting Kiba. Bakura and Marik pushed the little raft out into the water and lit up their cigarettes. _

_Ryou: What do you think that you are doing?!_

_Marik: Smoking. Kiba can't do anything about it. You can't own water._

_Bakura: Yeah, it's God's water. Fuck Kiba and his stupid rules. We can smoke all that we want on the water. I don't give a fuck. I'll smoke anything! I'll smoke a pipe, bong, cigarette, cigar. I'll even smoke the fuckin' raft! Marik what do you have to smoke?_

_Marik: Um, I got some gum, cheerios , a empty bong and some more cigarettes. Why? What do you have?_

_Bakura: I have some mints, a candy bar, the Pharaoh's wallet and one of those single serving cereals. _

_Marik: Let's light up that box!_

_They empty the cereal into the bong and light it up. Passing it to Marik Bakura waves at Ryou and laughs. Ryou rolls his eyes and sighs. He realizes that he won't be able to get through to them. They were just going to ignore him as usual. He heads back to Yami, who is slipping soda under the umbrella. Ryou sits next to Yami and sighs. Yami looks over at him, unsurprised by the whole thing._

_Yami: What were they doing?_

_Ryou: They were smoking over by the water's edge. I reminded them that that was against the rules that Kiba had posted and of course they found a loop hole in it. They are out in a raft smoking on the water. They said that God owns the water so Kiba cannot punish them. _

_Yami: What are they smoking? I thought that you took all of Bakura's cigarettes away before we got to the beach._

_Ryou: They are out on the water smoking cheerios out of Marik's bong._

_Yami spits out the soda that he was drinking and coughs._

_Yami: What?!_

_Ryou: Yeah. I thought the same thing too. I had no idea that you could smoke cereal. I bet they are going to light up those mints that they have and try to smoke those too. _

_Yugi comes running out of the water with Malik right behind him._

_Yugi: There is a bunch of smoke coming off of the water!_

_Yami: It is just Ishtar and the tomb robber. They are out there smoking mints, cereal and God knows what else they have got their thieving hands on. _

_Malik: Oh, no! What are they going to do if the raft catches fire? Marik can't swim at all! He usually just floats around the river with water wings on and in one of those little blow up tube-things! _

_Yami burst out laughing at the thought that Marik wore water wings and floated around in a blow up tube. Wiping the tears of laughter off his face he sighed._

_Yami: Look, Malik. I am sure that they are going to be fine. Remember they tell you all the time that they are professionals. _

_Yugi: Professional whats?_

_Malik: I have no idea. I just hope that they can get back okay._

_Ryou: Me too. Bakura doesn't really like swimming that much. I know he can so, I know that he will be okay. I just fear that they are going to end up sending someone or something to the shadow realm. I'm afraid of what I am going to have to deal with when he reaches the shore after his little dip._

_Just as Ryou finishes saying this, they heard a big splash and the smoke thinned. Ryou and Malik ran to the spot where the two had been smoking earlier in the day. When they got there they could see Marik attached to Bakura's back screaming in fear._

_Bakura: Relax. It's just wat-what the fuck was that?!_

_Marik: What?_

_Bakura: I felt something touch my leg and I know that it was not you! Oh, Lord save us!_

_Yugi: What are we going to do?!_

_Malik: I don't know._

_Yami comes running with a little wooden boat. He hands Ryou the oars and Malik some towels._

_Yami: Yugi, you stay here and-_

_Yami was cut off my the roar of Kiba's yacht that was pulling up next to the drowning Marik and angered Bakura. Mokuba looked down and had the two pulled out of the water. Kiba was nowhere in sight. Just as Ryou was about to yell to Mokuba and find out where Kiba was the noise of a large power wheels car clouded his thought. Kiba pulled up wearing nothing put a pair of sunglasses and a duel disk._

_Malik: Wow. _

_Yugi: Kiba, do you want a towel or something?_

_Kiba: NO! I am working on my all over tan. What are you doing here? Oh, right this is the beach that I bought. _

_Joey and Tea feeling left out go to meet the rest of the gang. As they approach Joey feels the need to vomit, seeing Kiba naked in his little toy jeep. Tea covers her eyes and nearly trips over a log laying in the sand. Kiba notices this and glances at Tea. He lowers his sun glasses and whistles at Tea in her bikini._

_Kiba: Yo. How about you and me get out of here? There is room in my jeep for two._

_Yugi turns red and Tea shakes her head._

_Tea: No thanks, Kiba. _

_Bakura and Marik make it to the shore and laugh when they see Kiba. Holding back their laughter they manage speak. _

_Marik: She wants to keep her food down, that's why she doesn't want to with you Kiba. _

_Bakura: Yeah. Hey isn't that a new diet?_

_Ryou: What are you talking about? _

_Bakura: You know, you put on a CD of Kiba's voice and you try to keep food down._

_Kiba narrows his eyes at Bakura while the rest of the group is paralyzed with laughter. _


End file.
